Can't Move On
by PocketFox
Summary: Months after their breakup, Duo still can't forget Quatre. But one day, Quatre gets a little nostalgic... [2x4, first chapter songfic: Lover After Me by Savage Garden]
1. His Ritual

**Title:** Can't Move On  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing(s):** 3x4, 2x4  
**Summary:** Months after their break-up, Duo still can't forget Quatre. But one day, Quatre gets a little nostalgic...  
**Comments:** My first Gundam Wing fic, now heavily rewritten, and hopefully the better for it. Set post-EW, I suppose.

-

A breeze floated past the boy, chilling his face and drying the tears that lay on his cheeks. He glanced down at the picture he held in his cupped hands. Two boys, one brown-haired and violet-eyed -- himself. The other… The other was an angel, golden-haired and blue-eyed. They were laughing, wrapped in each other's arms.

Another tear escaped, and splashed onto the glass of the picture. A name tumbled past the boy's lips.

"Quatre…."

Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
It's been seven months and counting  
You've moved on  
I still feel exactly the same  
It's just the that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders  
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Duo moved down the rainy street, hands shoved deep into his pockets. His eyes were downcast; he didn't look up to see where he was or where he was going. But he knew. He moved unerringly on his path. He was going again.

The braided young man had been going there for months, going and staring up at the house where his golden-haired angel lived. Lived with his new lover.

Duo felt the tears stinging his eyes again, and he fought them down. He would not cry again. Dammit, he wouldn't give in this time.

Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me

The American boy stopped and looked up at the house. Warm light shone from the windows, spilling onto the dark, rainy street. Two figures moved in front of the large picture window. Duo knew them immediately -- Quatre, and his lover, the brown-haired former pilot of Heavyarms, Trowa. Duo felt his throat tighten as the tall Italian wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and kissed his forehead. Quatre laughed and tossed his golden hair.

Duo swallowed hard. "You used to laugh like that for me, Quatre…" He wasn't even aware the words had passed his lips.

Sandrock's former pilot moved to the window to shut the drape, and happened to glance out. His sapphire gaze landed on a lone figure outside. It was hunched against the rain, and gazing up towards him. "Duo?" Quatre whispered to himself.

Trowa looked up from where he was setting the table. "What was that, love?"

The blonde shook himself and quickly shut the curtain. "Nothing, Trowa."

Duo lowered his gaze to the sidewalk once more. For one fleeting moment, he had thought Quatre was looking at him. But then the curtain had shut, and darkness fell across the man in the street.

He turned and slowly made his way back the way he came.

Here I go again  
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
But I'm standing at your doorway  
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

A boy stood on the bridge, hands shoved deep in his pockets, hair whipping about his eyes. He stared down at the river, swollen by the storm. Was that rain or tears on his cheeks? He couldn't remember anymore.

He looked back in the direction of the house. His ritual, although he knew Quatre wouldn't come. Slowly he turned again, and began walking home.

Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me


	2. Realization

There was no better time than spring, in Quatre's opinion. It was neither too hot nor too cold, there was the occasional soft rainshower, and new life was bursting out everywhere. The blonde Arabian looked up as he thought this, smiling at the pale cherry blossoms that swayed above his head.

_And it's gardening season again,_ he thought gleefully. At the moment he was touring a small nursery. He wasn't looking for anything in particular, just something to brighten up the small garden behind the house he shared with his lover, Trowa. Quatre paused beside a tray of morning glories. They would compliment the rose bushes quite nicely.

Movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked up, then froze when he saw what it was. A slender young American man was also wandering the nursery tables. He wasn't terribly tall, but his form was swathed in lean muscle. His outfit consisted of a pair of faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt, but to Quatre, he looked stunning.

The blonde made a small sound of surprise, both at the sight of the other man and his reaction to it. The noise made the American youth's head dart up and swivel in Quatre's direction. Violet eyes widened as they landed on Quatre. Quatre swallowed.

"Hello, Duo," he said quietly, amazed at how steady his voice was.

Duo looked at him for a second or two, then replied, with a joviality that was obviously forced, "Yo, Quat!" But he said nothing afterwards, and instead simply returned to his browsing.

Quatre studied him. He had changed. Duo had always been a loud, boisterous, and happy-go-lucky individual, and on the surface he appeared the same, but Quatre saw that now his demeanor was tinged with a deep-seated sadness. Despite the grace he still possessed, he moved as if every gesture had to be forced, as if, had he the choice, he would have laid down and never moved again. His deep purple eyes no longer flashed with playfulness or sharp wit, only glowed dark with remembered pain.

_Did I do this to him?_ Quatre thought, catching his lower lip between his teeth. The young man was pricked with guilt, but he forced himself to approach. "How have you been?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, fine, just great!" Duo answered, forcing another smile. "And yourself?" He pretended to examine the leaves of a young willow, but really he was concentrating on not looking at his blonde companion. It would have hurt too much.

"All right... How... is your work going?"

The brunette young man shrugged one strong shoulder and moved on to look at the roses. Quatre followed; he almost couldn't help himself. "The same," Duo said.

Quatre's heart twisted in his chest. _Why won't you talk to me, Duo?_ he thought desperately. But he knew why. Why would Duo even want to associate with the person who broke his heart? Again Quatre bit his lip and reached out to finger the stem of a nearby rosebush. A thorn pricked him. "Ouch!" he said reflexively, pulling his hand back.

Without thinking, Duo looked up and reached for Quatre's injured hand. "Are you all right?" His violet gaze met Quatre's aqua, and both young men froze. Duo's warm, calloused palm was so familiar, a lump rose in Quatre's throat. Duo's gaze had softened, warmed, in response to his almost instinctual concern for the other boy.

For a moment they just stared at each other, before Duo wrapped his powerful arms around Quatre and crushed the blonde against his chest in a fierce embrace. Quatre didn't think, merely reacted, throwing his arms around Duo's neck in response and clutching him. _This is so different from hugging Trowa. But it feels... right,_ he thought, but as soon as the words entered his mind, he remembered, and yanked himself out of Duo's arms. Duo blinked, then realization dawned, and he looked away.

"Duo, I'm sorry..." Quatre whispered.

"Forget it." Duo cut him off. Without another word, he turned on his heel and stalked away.

"Duo!" the blonde called after him in sudden desperation. But Duo didn't even look back.

* * *

Weeks passed, and spring moved into summer. Quatre went about his business as usual, but couldn't get Duo out of his mind. At the oddest times, the memory of their brief embrace at the nursery would surface, and he would be swamped by an odd tumult of emotions: a deep-seated desire that went beyond lust, a fierce love that was so strong it pained him. And guilt, because he still loved Trowa dearly, and felt he betrayed the brunette Italian with his want for Duo.

Trowa had noticed his blonde lover's preoccupation, and had queried about it several times. But always Quatre brushed it off as concern about work, or that he wasn't feeling well, or some other such trivial thing. The former pilot of Heavyarms knew Quatre was lying, but felt the Arabian would tell him when he felt it was right. Meanwhile, Quatre grew more and more confused.

One evening, it all came to a head, at least for Quatre. It was stormy that evening, as often happens in the summer, and Quatre was alone; Trowa was working late that night.

Quatre had been feeling all the more nostalgic on his own, so he had gone to the attic and taken out a few packets of photos. A wistful, sort of sad smile touched his lips as he flipped through them. All of them were of himself and Duo at various times in their relationship. Christmas… a trip to Europe… a summer picnic… Quatre closed his eyes, hugging a few of the photos against his chest. When he opened them again, his gaze fell on another envelope he hadn't looked through yet. As he opened it and began to peruse the pictures, his breath caught in his throat.

These were all of Duo alone. Quatre remembered Duo had given them to him on their first anniversary, and all of them portrayed the braided former pilot in various sultry poses and states of undress. The blonde swallowed, brushing a fingertip along the line of Duo's body in one particular photo in which he lay stretched out on his stomach, arms folded under his cheek, and smiled invitingly towards the camera.

Abruptly Quatre was grasped by a sudden dart of lust as he stared at the enticing photos. Not seeing any reason to deny it, he retreated downstairs and reclined on the bed, proceeding to satisfy himself. As he did so, he daydreamed. But they were not about Trowa. A violet-eyed American man was the one who had his hands on him, who was making him arch and writhe in his fantasies. And as he climaxed, body curved in a taut arc of ecstasy, it was not Trowa's name that escaped his lips.

"_Duo!_"

As Quatre relaxed in doped contentment, he became conscious of who he had been thinking about in the grip of pleasure. He sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn't deny it any longer. Though he cared deeply for Trowa, the brunette was not who he truly wanted to be with. He was not who he was _meant_ to be with.

Then he sat up. He had to find Duo, right now. This couldn't wait. Jumping out of bed, he yanked on his clothes, grabbed a coat, and ran out into the rainy night.

* * *

A boy stood on the bridge, hands shoved deep in his pockets, hair whipping about his eyes. He stared down at the river, swollen by the storm. Was that rain or tears on his cheeks? He couldn't remember anymore.

He looked back in the direction of the house. His ritual, although he knew Quatre wouldn't come. Slowly he turned again, and began walking home.

The sound of shoes slapping the wet pavement gave him pause, and he looked over his shoulder. His eyes widened as he saw who was running towards him. "Quatre...?" Indeed it was. The blonde raced to him and threw his arms around Duo's neck, face buried against his throat. Duo staggered back a half step under the force of the embrace, but returned it as fiercely as he could. "Quatre?" he asked again, dumbfounded.

"Duo, I'm sorry," Quatre sobbed against his neck. "Forgive me. I never meant to do this to you..."

Duo soothed him, broad palm smoothing over his wet hair, other arm wrapped securely around his waist. "Shh... Quatre, don't cry. It's all right... I'm here..."

Quatre looked up at him, blue-green eyes made all the brighter by his tears. "I'm here too, Duo," he said. "And I'm not going away. Not ever again."

The American youth froze at the implication of those words. "Do you mean...?"

"You're who I want to be with, Duo," Quatre assured him. "I see that now. Ever since that day in the nursery, when you hugged me... I couldn't stop thinking about you... You're who I love most in the world, Duo. I don't think I can live without you..."

"Oh, Quatre..." Duo embraced the blonde so fiercely the air was crushed from his lungs, but Quatre didn't care. This was right. This was how things were supposed to be. "Every night," Duo whispered against Quatre's hair, "every night I would go to your house, and I would look up and wish that it was me there with you. I tried to make myself forget, but I couldn't... Oh, God, Quatre...!" Now it was he who wept, and Quatre comforted him.

"I'll never do that to you again," he whispered. "Never again." Duo locked eyes with him, and a soft smile found Quatre's lips. "Can we go home?" Duo returned the smile and nodded. Together they walked away, heedless of the rain.


End file.
